


Saved From the Pills

by Greeks vs Geeks (Wonderfullydepressedandlustful)



Series: Jasico fic dump [12]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, More comfort than hurt, THANKFULLY, attempted suicide, jason is extremely unhappy, mentions of depression, nico helps talks jason off the ledge, this is darker than what i usually write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4599747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderfullydepressedandlustful/pseuds/Greeks%20vs%20Geeks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason is on the edge and about to take the final leap when a voice of reason and experience talks him from it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saved From the Pills

Jason looked at the line of pills on his dresser. How many did it take to do the job? Would it hurt? What if Thalia found him? The party raged on behind his door, but all Jason could do was stare at the pills. It was too much. The pressure was killing him on the inside. To the point that he wanted to be dead on the outside. Being varsity quarterback, straight A, student council president, and head of every single club was too much. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to stop it. Jason had tried before, but something always stopped him. He never went through it. But today was the perfect day. His sister was throwing a party downstairs and their parents were away. He had already told her that he was going to just study for a bit and fall asleep, so she wouldn’t walk in. Jason took a deep breath and picked up the first 4. They were sleeping pills that his stepmom was taking. Easy enough. As he lifted them to his mouth, his door opened quickly.

“Oh sorry, I thought this was the-” a boy was apologizing before he caught sight of Jason with the pills in his hand, 16 more on the dresser. The blood drained out of Jason’s face. Oh no. No, no, no. He saw him. He was going to tell everyone. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

Jason panicked and dropped the pills. “Please don’t tell anyone! Oh god, pretend this never-”

“Then don’t do it.” The boy cut him off. Jason looked at him with surprise. The boy looked familiar though. He had shaggy black hair and equally dark eyes that contrasted his pale skin like crazy. He was wearing a plain black shirt and some regular jeans with some black converse. He wasn’t anything special, but Jason was sure that he knew him from somewhere.

“What?”

The boy sighed and closed the door. “If you don’t want anyone to find out and you want to pretend that this never happened, then don’t do it. I promise that I won’t tell anyone if you promise not to take those pills as soon as I leave. It’s stupid and won’t do you any good.” The boy stated again, stuffing his hands in his back jean pockets. Jason felt a ball of anger build in him. What did he know about Jason? The kid probably thought that Jason had it made, that he didn’t know what it was like to struggle.

“What do you know about me? What makes you think that me killing myself won’t help me?” Jason snapped. The boy looked away and stuck out his arms for Jason to see. Jason sucked in a breath. His forearms were covered in scars, with two of the deepest right on his main vein.

“Believe me, I know a lot more than you think.” He said quietly. Jason stepped a little closer to him, but the boy had put his arms down. “I usually wear a jacket to cover them, but it got hot downstairs and well, no one is going to look at my arms.”

Jason nodded numbly and walked over to his bed, sitting on it and putting his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do? Sure, he didn’t do it today, but it was going to happen again, and then what was he going to do? “I don’t know what to do. How do you make these thoughts go away? How do you stop wanting to die? How do you move on?” Jason didn’t lift his head, but he felt the bed sink down next to him.

“That’s the thing; you don’t. They never go away. There are still going to be days where you feel like it would be better if you die. It doesn’t matter if you’re surrounded by friends or are in a great relationship or are actually happy for once. It doesn’t really go away. You just have to remind yourself when you’re on the ledge everyone that cares about you and the reasons why you shouldn’t do it. I realized everything I wanted to live for 2 minutes before death. If my sister hadn’t found me, I would have died. But you realize it isn’t worth it after that. You always remember that moment.” The boy answered. Jason shook his head. How was this supposed to make him feel better? So this was never going to go away? There was always going to be these thoughts in his head? What is the reason for living then if he always felt like he wanted to die? “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jason lifted his head at that and stared at the boy. He was looking at the ground, his arms still by his side and the scars hidden. “What?”

The boy started turning red. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s just something that helps. To tell someone your troubles and your reasons. Someone that is going to support you though. Someone who understands. But I understand if you don’t want-”

“What’s your name?” Jason interrupted.

The boy looked up at that. “What?”

Jason smiled slightly, though he could feel that it wasn’t real. Most weren’t these days. “I can’t tell my problems to a stranger. So if I know your name, then we won’t be strangers.”

The boy returned a small smile. “Nico. Nico di Angelo.”

“Jason Grace.” Nico nodded.

“So do you want to talk about it?”

Jason sat there and talked about everything on his mind. How he felt so stressed about everything that was going on, how he felt pressured to be great at everything, the thoughts that always haunted him, how getting out of bed was just so hard now. And Nico just sat there and listened. He never interrupted. And honestly, the more that Jason said, the better he felt. He had been bottling it all up for so long that to finally have a chance to tell someone, was amazing. He ranted and went on and on. And then, he just stopped. That was all he could think off. And they just sat there in silence, now facing each other. Nico nodded his head.

“I can’t say that I know where you’re coming from, but I understand why you feel this way. You know its ok to say no sometimes? The world won’t fall apart. And even if it does, it won’t be your fault.” Nico told him. By then, Jason was lying flat on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and Nico was sitting at the foot of the bed with his legs crisscrossed. Jason sighed and rolled over.

“I know. I know it won’t. But every time I try and say no, it feels like I am letting someone down. Like I’m not good enough. And I know I can do it. If I just put my mind to, I know I can.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to.” Jason sat there in silence thinking about Nico’s comment. It was true. But his parents were expecting him to. Everyone was expecting him to be perfect. But he wasn’t perfect.

“Why did you do it?” Jason asked suddenly. Nico looked at him with surprise.

“What?”

“Why did you do it? Cut yourself I mean. You seem so…put together. Why?” Jason elaborated, turning to look at Nico. Nico however, was looking at the wall and rubbing his neck.

“I could say the same for you. But it was complicated. I got bullied a lot. My sister died around that time too. My dad didn’t really support me that much and my step mom hated my guts. And then I liked this person, only for them to treat me like shit and get with someone else. It was a lot at once and it just added up after a while. It got somewhat better when Hazel came into the picture, but I still felt alone. And then one day, I just felt like dying. I didn’t want to live anymore. And so I did it. If Hazel hadn’t come home early, then….” Nico drifted off into his own thoughts. It was quiet, quiet enough to hear that the party was starting to break up, meaning that Thalia would be coming in to check on him soon. Apparently, Nico noticed the same thing. “It’s getting pretty late. I should go. I’m the DD for my group anyway, so….”

Jason nodded and sat up. “Can I-can I have your number? You’re the only person I’ve ever met that-that understands what is wrong with me and I want to be able to get in contact with you other than at a party my sister threw. You know, if that’s ok with you.” Jason mumbled. Nico looked surprised but nodded. Digging out a pen from his pants pocket, he grabbed a notebook from off of Jason’s desk and quickly scrawled his number on it.

“Sure, text me if you ever need someone to talk you off the ledge again.” Jason smiled and took the notebook.

“I will, but hopefully I won’t have to. Is it ok if I text you about other things?” Jason asked. Nico looked away but nodded none the less. “Bye Nico. Thanks for everything.”

Nico waved goodbye and soon disappeared behind Jason’s door. Jason just sat there and stared at the paper, smiling for real for the first time in a while. He was going to be texting this number soon enough.


End file.
